Another Christmas Party

I had been working undercover for the State Police for over 2 years. By this time I had built a strong reputation within the unit. My team stayed busy and we busted a lot of crack dealers. We conducted our own Search Warrant executions, sometimes breaking down three doors a day. We were making a difference on the streets.We were a rough bunch and got away with shit.
The Michigan State Police Christmas party was just around the corner. The First Lieutenant called me into his office.“
“Rat you going to the Christmas party””?
“Hell yea LT- I wouldn’t think of missing it – we get free booze right”?
””“Rat do me this one favor. Don’t fuck with the my boss, the Director of the State Police”.”
“”Lieutenant don’t worry – I’’ll be cool”.”

The evening finally arrives and most of the team went to the party. We were a strange looking bunch of hair balls all wearing dark suits. Just imagine ZZ Top walking into a Republican convention.

I drank too much but was trying to be on my best behavior. That was about to change.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned and the Director of the State Police was right there, offering his hand. He asked if I was Rat and I hesitantly said yes. “”I’ve been hearing good things about your team. How is everything going”?


“”Great Boss just great except for this one case. You see I’ve got this Crackhead informant that I have been using for years. Her name is Jenny. Jenny has been a street prostitute for as long as I’ve know her. Well Jenny got pregnant and delivered a crack addicted and deformed baby the other day. The team has been trying to raise some extra cash to help out”.”

The Big Boss asks, “”What is wrong with the baby”?”

“”Well you see boss this baby was born without any eyelids”, I said.”

““That’s terrible, were they able to do anything to fix it”?”

“”Actually they were able to do reconstructive surgery on the baby. Luckily it was a boy child and they just used the foreskin from his penis to make two eyelids”.”

At this moment two things happened at the same time. The Director of the State Police reached into his wallet and pulled out a crisp one hundred dollar bill and the Lieutenant must have been watching because he walked up to the both of us.

The Big boss asked, “”Will the baby be alright”?”


I pause for effect and answer….

“”The Doctor thinks he’ll be fine. He may be be a little Cock Eyed”.”

The Director of the State Police stood there with his hundred dollar bill extended and finally burst out laughing. He knew he had been had by the Rat.

The Lieutenant just shook his head.


© 2015, Michael Fulcher. All rights reserved.

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